Just thought I would write something for the over 100 of you who keep checking the web page. First and foremost we are 'ok'. And OK is a relative term, but we really are ok. Trish would be mad at me for the dinners I have prepared this week. Monday Matt and I had TV dinners (Boston Market chicken parmeasan) -- he was real good about it, not a single complaint. Though he did say it was just ok. Heck, on the Trish scale of goodness it was downright inedible. Last night I totally forgot I had to deal with dinner and called Matt who was waiting for Andy at physical therapy to order a pizza and I would pick it up on the way home from work. You see, Matt has every restaurant and pizza joint within 10 miles of our house programmed on his cell phone. So the food thing may indeed be the toughest part of our new life so far. I think dinner tonight may be Outback (thanks Tammy).
I still need to unpack our boxes from Baltimore and find Trish's address book so we can send out all the Thank yous to everyone. And a lot of you have been following Fr. Jeff's advice and calling and emailing me to check in. I appreciate it. Fr. Jeff's dad just passed away too.
Tomorrow we will have Thanksgiving dinner at my parents house. We are thinking about hosting Christmas eve at our house. Trish really wanted to do this this year and I would like to honor that if the boys are up to it. She knew she wouldn't be able to cook as much as she normally would and planned it to be a lighter affair, so hopefully we can make good on that.
For now, please know that we are greatful for all the love and support you have shown us through this difficult time. For me the saddest thing was that we were on our way home we knew this and expected nothing else and than bam -- we got slapped in the face with another reality.
Trish's cell phone is a good indicator of how focused we were on going home. Her original cell phone, about 3-4 years old started acting up and not working sometime in late September/early October. I wanted her to have a reliable cell phone that worked, so we went out to get one. At the time we thought we might be going home to hospice care, because the doctors weren't sure that the graft versus host disease had been stopped. we were waiting on a liver biopsy to tell us this. Because of this situation we looked for a cheap phone that would not extend our contract. A few weeks later, when Trish was in the hospital for her gall bladder issues, the SA threw her phone out with the sheets. We were pissed, but happy the phone was cheap. We had just gotten the news back that her liver biopsy showed that the GvHd had been stopped by the cytoxan treatment and that we would be going home to wait for her liver to regrow and that the prognosis would be much better. So we ordered Trish a really nice phone which extended our contract by two years. It was ok, because now we were going home to start our lives again. The phone arrived on the Monday after Trish was admitted via the ER and our hopes and plans started to dissolve.
For much of the two years we battled this thing, I lived every day knowing I could lose Trish any day. She lived knowing that she could lose her fight, but she would fight to live and be with her boys. She ended up losing the battle during a time when we finally lost sight of the fact that we could lose. A time when hope of a positive outcome far outweighed the reality of any negative ending. A time when we both were suddenly unprepared for how things would end. For me, that's what sucks most about how things ended. There is nothing you or I can do to make that better. We just need to use her example and move on.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
I have gotten several requests for a copy of Andy's comments at the Mass to be posted, he latest from cousin John. Well, here's the thing....he didn't prepare them in advance and had nothing written down. I have asked my master debater to try and write down what he said and elaborate if he wished (he told me afterwards that he had about two minutes more, but he ended it before he got emotional. If I can get him to write something, I will post it here, but don't expect it this week. He is off to Chicago tomorrow to complete in a debate tournament.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
My brother provided me with the link below, as I sat teary eyed opening up more Mass cards and reading emails. I have to say this lady who is also newly widowed sums up how I feel pretty well.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/10/21/AR2007102101239.html?referrer=emailarticle
Scary too, she was married for 19 years, just like Trish and I, but they waited a little longer to have children from the ages.
I am working from home this week, so that I can move back into my house, sort through stuff, wash clothes and the like. I also don't think I am quite ready to start a routine of being in the office. I'll do that next week.
Tonight, I'll go to a Lacrosse meeting for the boys at school. Trish missed much of the boys Lacrosse seasons as a result of her treatments. She was so looking forward to seeing them play this year.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/10/21/AR2007102101239.html?referrer=emailarticle
Scary too, she was married for 19 years, just like Trish and I, but they waited a little longer to have children from the ages.
I am working from home this week, so that I can move back into my house, sort through stuff, wash clothes and the like. I also don't think I am quite ready to start a routine of being in the office. I'll do that next week.
Tonight, I'll go to a Lacrosse meeting for the boys at school. Trish missed much of the boys Lacrosse seasons as a result of her treatments. She was so looking forward to seeing them play this year.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
and he still posts.....
Remember that this is therapy for me as it has been since October of 2005 and may continue to be for some time to come.
Trish was laid to rest yesterday. Her Mass was incredible. The church was full and everything was just right. I didn't realize it, but our friends who I asked to read at Mass were coupled in our wedding party. I knew the were in our wedding party, but didn't realize that they were each other's escorts for the service until the reminded me. I couldn't have planned that if I tried. At the end of this post, I will include the readings we used during Mass and the lyrics for THE SONG (Here, There and Everywhere), as well as some pictures that Trish's cousin Rick took. I also hope to have the tri-fold recipe sheet the funeral home made available for download on the website earl this week.
Our son, Andy, spoke during the Mass. He not only memorialized his mother, but assured everyone that she was in a better place and that she wanted everyone to celebrate her life and not be sad. My wife and sons are amazing people.
I spoke briefly (big surprise to everyone). I told no stories (happy or sad) about my beautiful bride. I did what I knew she would want me to do. As simply as I could, I said thank you. So for those who missed it at Mass: Thank you. Thank you for your prayers, your good cheer, your financial support, your friendship and now thank you for your memories and support as we begin a new, harder life, without the lady that has guided and held us together for over 19 years.
Our house is filled with and surrounded by flowers today. I wanted to bring them back to the house, so that our guests could enjoy them, and only left a few at the cemetary.
Now I must focus on moving back into my house and continuing. Trish was a very practical person. She dealt with adversity head on. She spent no time in self-pity and very little in sorrow. She knew how to pick up and move on when it was needed. I now must ask her to help me learn how to do the same.
If you would like to sign the online guestbook, it will remain active through Nov. 20th, please try to do so before than. I am printing these up with the
emails we have received and creating a book along with all the cards.
Also, if you would like to attend one of the South Florida masses being said in Trish's honor, I have posted a list of local mass dates and times and churches (look for link on left).
Funeral Mass Readings
A reading from the book of Proverbs:
When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls.
Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize.
She brings him good, and not evil, all the days of her life.
Like merchant ships, she secures her provisions from afar.
She rises while it is still night, and distributes food to her household.
She is girt about with strength, and sturdy are her arms.
She enjoys the success of her dealings; at night her lamp is undimmed.
She puts her hands to the distaff, and her fingers ply the spindle.
She reaches out her hands to the poor, and extends her arms to the needy.
Her husband is prominent at the city gates as he sits with the elders of the land.
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs at the days to come.
She opens her mouth in wisdom, and on her tongue is kindly counsel.
She watches the conduct of her household, and eats not her food in idleness.
Her children rise up and praise her; her husband, too, extols her:
"Many are the women of proven worth, but you have excelled them all."
Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; the woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her a reward of her labors, and let her works praise her at the city gates.
This is the word of the Lord.
---
A Reading from the second letter of Timothy
For I am already being poured out like a libation, and the time of my departure is at hand.
I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith.
From now on the crown of righteousness awaits me, which the Lord, the just judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me, but to all who have longed for his appearance.
But the Lord stood by me and gave me strength, so that through me the proclamation might be completed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was rescued from the lion's mouth.
The Lord will rescue me from every evil threat and will bring me safe to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory forever and ever. Amen.
This is the word of the Lord.
---------
From the Gospel of Matthew:
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal.
But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal.
For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.
"The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light;
but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness. And if the light in you is darkness, how great will the darkness be.
"No one can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?
Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? 17
Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin.
But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them.
If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?
So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?'
All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.
But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, 19 and all these things will be given you besides.
Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.
This is the Gospel of the Lord
----------------
Here, There and Everywhere
To lead a better life I need my love to be here...
Here, making each day of the year
Changing my life with a wave of her hand
Nobody can deny that there's something there
There, running my hands through her hair
Both of us thinking how good it can be
Someone is speaking but she doesn't know he's there
I want her everywhere and if she's beside me
I know I need never careBut to love her is to need her everywhere
Knowing that love is to share
Each one believing that love never dies
Watching her eyes and hoping I'm always there
I want her everywhere and if she's beside me
I know I need never care
But to love her is to need her everywhere
Knowing that love is to share
Each one believing that love never dies
Watching her eyes and hoping I'm always there
To be there and everywhere
Here, there and everywhere
……..John Lennon, Paul McCartney
A word about this song. In the 9th grade, I wrote an essay on this song for an English class. It has always been a song I liked. I even listed it as my favorite song in my Hgh School yearbook (didn't realize, but saw it recently). Until Trish came into my life, this song never had meaning for me. More something to hope for, strive for, but now the words are very real and meaningful and ingrained in my soul.
Trish was laid to rest yesterday. Her Mass was incredible. The church was full and everything was just right. I didn't realize it, but our friends who I asked to read at Mass were coupled in our wedding party. I knew the were in our wedding party, but didn't realize that they were each other's escorts for the service until the reminded me. I couldn't have planned that if I tried. At the end of this post, I will include the readings we used during Mass and the lyrics for THE SONG (Here, There and Everywhere), as well as some pictures that Trish's cousin Rick took. I also hope to have the tri-fold recipe sheet the funeral home made available for download on the website earl this week.
Our son, Andy, spoke during the Mass. He not only memorialized his mother, but assured everyone that she was in a better place and that she wanted everyone to celebrate her life and not be sad. My wife and sons are amazing people.
I spoke briefly (big surprise to everyone). I told no stories (happy or sad) about my beautiful bride. I did what I knew she would want me to do. As simply as I could, I said thank you. So for those who missed it at Mass: Thank you. Thank you for your prayers, your good cheer, your financial support, your friendship and now thank you for your memories and support as we begin a new, harder life, without the lady that has guided and held us together for over 19 years.
Our house is filled with and surrounded by flowers today. I wanted to bring them back to the house, so that our guests could enjoy them, and only left a few at the cemetary.
Now I must focus on moving back into my house and continuing. Trish was a very practical person. She dealt with adversity head on. She spent no time in self-pity and very little in sorrow. She knew how to pick up and move on when it was needed. I now must ask her to help me learn how to do the same.
If you would like to sign the online guestbook, it will remain active through Nov. 20th, please try to do so before than. I am printing these up with the
emails we have received and creating a book along with all the cards.
Also, if you would like to attend one of the South Florida masses being said in Trish's honor, I have posted a list of local mass dates and times and churches (look for link on left).
Funeral Mass Readings
A reading from the book of Proverbs:
When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls.
Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize.
She brings him good, and not evil, all the days of her life.
Like merchant ships, she secures her provisions from afar.
She rises while it is still night, and distributes food to her household.
She is girt about with strength, and sturdy are her arms.
She enjoys the success of her dealings; at night her lamp is undimmed.
She puts her hands to the distaff, and her fingers ply the spindle.
She reaches out her hands to the poor, and extends her arms to the needy.
Her husband is prominent at the city gates as he sits with the elders of the land.
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs at the days to come.
She opens her mouth in wisdom, and on her tongue is kindly counsel.
She watches the conduct of her household, and eats not her food in idleness.
Her children rise up and praise her; her husband, too, extols her:
"Many are the women of proven worth, but you have excelled them all."
Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; the woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her a reward of her labors, and let her works praise her at the city gates.
This is the word of the Lord.
---
A Reading from the second letter of Timothy
For I am already being poured out like a libation, and the time of my departure is at hand.
I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith.
From now on the crown of righteousness awaits me, which the Lord, the just judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me, but to all who have longed for his appearance.
But the Lord stood by me and gave me strength, so that through me the proclamation might be completed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was rescued from the lion's mouth.
The Lord will rescue me from every evil threat and will bring me safe to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory forever and ever. Amen.
This is the word of the Lord.
---------
From the Gospel of Matthew:
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal.
But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal.
For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.
"The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light;
but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness. And if the light in you is darkness, how great will the darkness be.
"No one can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?
Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? 17
Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin.
But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them.
If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?
So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?'
All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.
But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, 19 and all these things will be given you besides.
Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.
This is the Gospel of the Lord
----------------
Here, There and Everywhere
To lead a better life I need my love to be here...
Here, making each day of the year
Changing my life with a wave of her hand
Nobody can deny that there's something there
There, running my hands through her hair
Both of us thinking how good it can be
Someone is speaking but she doesn't know he's there
I want her everywhere and if she's beside me
I know I need never careBut to love her is to need her everywhere
Knowing that love is to share
Each one believing that love never dies
Watching her eyes and hoping I'm always there
I want her everywhere and if she's beside me
I know I need never care
But to love her is to need her everywhere
Knowing that love is to share
Each one believing that love never dies
Watching her eyes and hoping I'm always there
To be there and everywhere
Here, there and everywhere
……..John Lennon, Paul McCartney
A word about this song. In the 9th grade, I wrote an essay on this song for an English class. It has always been a song I liked. I even listed it as my favorite song in my Hgh School yearbook (didn't realize, but saw it recently). Until Trish came into my life, this song never had meaning for me. More something to hope for, strive for, but now the words are very real and meaningful and ingrained in my soul.
Friday, November 9, 2007
And you thought I was done writing.....
Since we have so many folks caring and sharing and not all of them could be with us this weekend, I thought I would jot down some thoughts about today before going to bed.
Flowers. A few posts back I mentioned that I was ok with lots of flowers versus folks donating on behalf of Trish. Boy o'boy did you all take that to heart. As I walked into the funeral home today, the flowers were everywhere and the funeral folks weren't sure what to do with all of them. There were over 60 arrangements and everytime I turned around more were showing up. They were all beautiful. We could only bring two to the church and raher than leave the rest at the cemetary, we picked 2 or 3 o leave at the cemetary and brought the rest home. Trish's butterfly garden in the front of the house is filled with beautiful arrangements and each table on our patio for he reception tomorrow has an arrangement and flowers fill the house. Tomorrow we'll pick up about 11 more and fill the backyard as we celebrate Trish's life.
While all the arrangements were wonderful, as I went around the room reading flower cards. I hit one and began to cry. It was from our friends Faye and George. Faye is also a patient at Johns Hopkins and the night before Trish's aneurism incident we shared what was to be Trish's last meal with Faye and George. Trish guided me through preparing a special pasta dish that was low fat since she had just had her gall bladder out and George picked up a special pizza and we enjoyed a good meal. Trish cheated and took a big bite of my pizza and it tasted so good to her. Thanks Faye and George for becoming fast friends and remembering Trish. I will continue praying for Faye each day.
People. My other surprise of the early afternoon was the number of people who showed up for the early visitation. As my brother put it, the early visitation is usually for old folks who can't drive at night. The room was filled. Tonight the room was standing room only. Not only did we have quantity, but quality. We had folks making sacrifices to say goodbye, from Trish's friend who drove in from Colorado to folks who flew in and out for a few hours to be with us today or drove 10 hours or more just to see us today and say goodbye to my beautiful bride and the boys loving mother.
The folks who accidentally came across Trish's obituary and showed up today really made my day as well. My long time friends Rob and Ferny and "The Moms". Trish and I went to Amanda the Panda on Saturday mornings with the boys when they itty bitty and made some real good friends that we haven't seen for a while (as the kids are now seniors in high school), but they were there tonight -- Cindy, Darla and Alba. Wow. That really warmed my heart and made my night.
All of the folks who have come out and shown there support have been amazing. Your love and efforts meant so much to all of us.
The cookies. We received today two unique gifts worth mentioning. Both involved cookies. My friend Tony enrolled us in the cookie of the month club. Each month we will receive a bundle of joy that will bring us memories of Trish and her cookie baking. Trish's friend Susan, spent the day baking and fedexed a batch of fresh home made cookies to us. We might share some tomorrow, but the boys and I enjoyed them today.
Cards, letters, emails and guest book signings continue to pour in. My quiet wife, who avoided being the center of attention is sure attracting a lot of attention now. I better get to bed, we get picked up at 9:30am to say our final goodbyes before heading to Mass.
Flowers. A few posts back I mentioned that I was ok with lots of flowers versus folks donating on behalf of Trish. Boy o'boy did you all take that to heart. As I walked into the funeral home today, the flowers were everywhere and the funeral folks weren't sure what to do with all of them. There were over 60 arrangements and everytime I turned around more were showing up. They were all beautiful. We could only bring two to the church and raher than leave the rest at the cemetary, we picked 2 or 3 o leave at the cemetary and brought the rest home. Trish's butterfly garden in the front of the house is filled with beautiful arrangements and each table on our patio for he reception tomorrow has an arrangement and flowers fill the house. Tomorrow we'll pick up about 11 more and fill the backyard as we celebrate Trish's life.
While all the arrangements were wonderful, as I went around the room reading flower cards. I hit one and began to cry. It was from our friends Faye and George. Faye is also a patient at Johns Hopkins and the night before Trish's aneurism incident we shared what was to be Trish's last meal with Faye and George. Trish guided me through preparing a special pasta dish that was low fat since she had just had her gall bladder out and George picked up a special pizza and we enjoyed a good meal. Trish cheated and took a big bite of my pizza and it tasted so good to her. Thanks Faye and George for becoming fast friends and remembering Trish. I will continue praying for Faye each day.
People. My other surprise of the early afternoon was the number of people who showed up for the early visitation. As my brother put it, the early visitation is usually for old folks who can't drive at night. The room was filled. Tonight the room was standing room only. Not only did we have quantity, but quality. We had folks making sacrifices to say goodbye, from Trish's friend who drove in from Colorado to folks who flew in and out for a few hours to be with us today or drove 10 hours or more just to see us today and say goodbye to my beautiful bride and the boys loving mother.
The folks who accidentally came across Trish's obituary and showed up today really made my day as well. My long time friends Rob and Ferny and "The Moms". Trish and I went to Amanda the Panda on Saturday mornings with the boys when they itty bitty and made some real good friends that we haven't seen for a while (as the kids are now seniors in high school), but they were there tonight -- Cindy, Darla and Alba. Wow. That really warmed my heart and made my night.
All of the folks who have come out and shown there support have been amazing. Your love and efforts meant so much to all of us.
The cookies. We received today two unique gifts worth mentioning. Both involved cookies. My friend Tony enrolled us in the cookie of the month club. Each month we will receive a bundle of joy that will bring us memories of Trish and her cookie baking. Trish's friend Susan, spent the day baking and fedexed a batch of fresh home made cookies to us. We might share some tomorrow, but the boys and I enjoyed them today.
Cards, letters, emails and guest book signings continue to pour in. My quiet wife, who avoided being the center of attention is sure attracting a lot of attention now. I better get to bed, we get picked up at 9:30am to say our final goodbyes before heading to Mass.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Here, There and Everywhere
In addition to getting the house ready for Saturday, I met with Fr. Jeff and the musicians today to plan the funeral Mass. Everyone is in agreement that I picked some good readings as Phil drove us home from Baltimore. Each reading either speaks about Trish's character in some way or about her struggles and rewards during this two year battle -- bummer, you may want to pay close attention to the readings Saturday.
We have some powerful music lined up for the Mass as well. My favorite song and my ringtone for calls from Trish will be sung b Sheree during after communion. I got to hear her sing it tonight and tried to hold back the tears. I think I posted the lyrics earlier this year. As I listened to Sheree sing it tonight, I realized that it is a simple and pure song -- much like Trish. There are no harsh words or phrases that can be interpreted in more than one way. It's message is very appropriate. Love is eternal. Love is pure. Just like my bride. Listen carefully to the lyrics. It will be a meditation song after communion.
In other news, Ashley and Patrick Boyd convinced me to put some recipes together and they will prepare memorial recipe cards for the taking at the wake. Trish has so many favorite recipes that I may put a book together later and make it available on Cafe Press at cost. In the meantime, the three recipes available tomorrow (Friday) will be: Sun Dried Tomato and Pesto Torta, Trish Ahoy Cookies (our friend MarcO nick named Trish's chocolate chip cookies this) and her Dried Cranberry and White Chocolate Biscotti. If ou are looking for a good pizza dough recipe, Trish had three. They ranged from good, better to best and she chose which one to make based upon how much time she had. The best recipe took 3-4 hours -- yep just for pizza dough, not the whole pizza.
I told someone at the patient house recently that she even made toast from scratch. They said, so do I -- I take the bread out of the bag and put it in the toaster.... I said no, I mean really home made. She first bakes bread from scratch and than slices it and toasts it.
I don't think the boys and I will ever eat as well as we are accustomed to ever again.
We hope to see you Friday/Saturday and please stop by the house afterwards. If you can't make a service or just can't handle the services, please still feel free to drop by the house Saturday.
We have some powerful music lined up for the Mass as well. My favorite song and my ringtone for calls from Trish will be sung b Sheree during after communion. I got to hear her sing it tonight and tried to hold back the tears. I think I posted the lyrics earlier this year. As I listened to Sheree sing it tonight, I realized that it is a simple and pure song -- much like Trish. There are no harsh words or phrases that can be interpreted in more than one way. It's message is very appropriate. Love is eternal. Love is pure. Just like my bride. Listen carefully to the lyrics. It will be a meditation song after communion.
In other news, Ashley and Patrick Boyd convinced me to put some recipes together and they will prepare memorial recipe cards for the taking at the wake. Trish has so many favorite recipes that I may put a book together later and make it available on Cafe Press at cost. In the meantime, the three recipes available tomorrow (Friday) will be: Sun Dried Tomato and Pesto Torta, Trish Ahoy Cookies (our friend MarcO nick named Trish's chocolate chip cookies this) and her Dried Cranberry and White Chocolate Biscotti. If ou are looking for a good pizza dough recipe, Trish had three. They ranged from good, better to best and she chose which one to make based upon how much time she had. The best recipe took 3-4 hours -- yep just for pizza dough, not the whole pizza.
I told someone at the patient house recently that she even made toast from scratch. They said, so do I -- I take the bread out of the bag and put it in the toaster.... I said no, I mean really home made. She first bakes bread from scratch and than slices it and toasts it.
I don't think the boys and I will ever eat as well as we are accustomed to ever again.
We hope to see you Friday/Saturday and please stop by the house afterwards. If you can't make a service or just can't handle the services, please still feel free to drop by the house Saturday.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
A lot of things can happen in 10 months...
I have been home for just over 24 hours now and find myself getting frustrated by the number of things that have either changed or broken in the 10 months Trish and I were away. No complaints, though, lots of things that broke were fixed without me even knowing there was an issue.
It just makes relaxing and preparing for this weekend slightly more difficult. I think I am at least as OCD as the nurse that took care of Trish (and us) on the day she died. He made sure that everything in the room was perfect. We try to be prepared in the same way when we have guests in our home and I don't want to let Trish down.
The Mom's and my Dad made arrangements at the funeral home on Monday for me while my brother and I were still driving home from Baltimore. They also met with the cemetery. I went there today to sign the papers and make the payments. My suit pants went missing in the 10 months I was gone, I suspect I'll find them eventually, but to make sure I am not naked this weekend (that scared a lot of you) I went to Syms to buy a suit today and they hemmed it while I waited.
Thursday I will meet with Father Jeff at St. Max to complete the plan for Mass. For those who attended our wedding, you'll remember that the clergy on the altar out numbered the wedding party. While we did invite Fr. Paul from St. Bart's to concelebrate, he has a parish renewal retreat this weekend and will likely not be able to attend. Fr. Paul married us and baptized both our boys. A dear family friend who was not a deacon at the time of our wedding, but is currently, Bill Cresswell, will be serving at the Mass. Much like our wedding, where we served as our own Eucharistic Ministers, we will personalize the Mass and involve family and friends.
Our son, Matt has prepared a music CD of songs that are important to each of us and our relationship to Trish. The music will be played softly during the wake. Andy would like to speak about his Mom at the Mass. The Mom's and Trish's sister Kath, went shopping today for clothes for Trish and will go to the florist tomorrow. It's been a busy week.
Kath told me today that an old friend -- "from the old neighborhood" -- is driving in from Colorado to be with us this weekend. I am getting emails and phone calls from as far away as Germany, where they will miss their Birkenstocks for cookies exchange program.
We continue to root for our friends at Hopkins too. Those who have made it home and hope to not be back, those who struggle to have the chance that Trish had regardless of the cost and those who simply do not know what tomorrow will bring as they inch a day closer to breaking our 10 month record of hospital care.
We have heard from many who will not be able to make it this weekend. If you are sitting on the fence and can be here, please do. Whether it is the Mass on Saturday or the wake on Friday, we would love to see you. After the service at the cemetery, everyone is invited back to our house, please feel free to bring a change of clothes so you can be comfortable -- Trish would insist.
It just makes relaxing and preparing for this weekend slightly more difficult. I think I am at least as OCD as the nurse that took care of Trish (and us) on the day she died. He made sure that everything in the room was perfect. We try to be prepared in the same way when we have guests in our home and I don't want to let Trish down.
The Mom's and my Dad made arrangements at the funeral home on Monday for me while my brother and I were still driving home from Baltimore. They also met with the cemetery. I went there today to sign the papers and make the payments. My suit pants went missing in the 10 months I was gone, I suspect I'll find them eventually, but to make sure I am not naked this weekend (that scared a lot of you) I went to Syms to buy a suit today and they hemmed it while I waited.
Thursday I will meet with Father Jeff at St. Max to complete the plan for Mass. For those who attended our wedding, you'll remember that the clergy on the altar out numbered the wedding party. While we did invite Fr. Paul from St. Bart's to concelebrate, he has a parish renewal retreat this weekend and will likely not be able to attend. Fr. Paul married us and baptized both our boys. A dear family friend who was not a deacon at the time of our wedding, but is currently, Bill Cresswell, will be serving at the Mass. Much like our wedding, where we served as our own Eucharistic Ministers, we will personalize the Mass and involve family and friends.
Our son, Matt has prepared a music CD of songs that are important to each of us and our relationship to Trish. The music will be played softly during the wake. Andy would like to speak about his Mom at the Mass. The Mom's and Trish's sister Kath, went shopping today for clothes for Trish and will go to the florist tomorrow. It's been a busy week.
Kath told me today that an old friend -- "from the old neighborhood" -- is driving in from Colorado to be with us this weekend. I am getting emails and phone calls from as far away as Germany, where they will miss their Birkenstocks for cookies exchange program.
We continue to root for our friends at Hopkins too. Those who have made it home and hope to not be back, those who struggle to have the chance that Trish had regardless of the cost and those who simply do not know what tomorrow will bring as they inch a day closer to breaking our 10 month record of hospital care.
We have heard from many who will not be able to make it this weekend. If you are sitting on the fence and can be here, please do. Whether it is the Mass on Saturday or the wake on Friday, we would love to see you. After the service at the cemetery, everyone is invited back to our house, please feel free to bring a change of clothes so you can be comfortable -- Trish would insist.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Funeral Arrangements for Patricia Ellen DiComo
Friends may visit from 2-4 & 6-9 PM, Friday (Nov. 9) at Boyd's Hollywood Blvd. Chapel. Prayer Service at 7:30 PM.
Funeral Mass will be 11:30 AM, Saturday, Nov. 10, 2007 at St. Maximilian Kolbe Catholic Church. Interment will follow at Forest Lawn South.
Reception following at the DiComo's home:
15061 N. Longbow Bend
Davie, Florida 33331
See the funeral map link on the left for locations and directions.
Funeral Mass will be 11:30 AM, Saturday, Nov. 10, 2007 at St. Maximilian Kolbe Catholic Church. Interment will follow at Forest Lawn South.
Reception following at the DiComo's home:
15061 N. Longbow Bend
Davie, Florida 33331
See the funeral map link on the left for locations and directions.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Quick Note on travel plans, etc.
We have lots of folks volunteering to pick people up at the airport, etc. So if you are thinking about coming down please let us know if you would need a ride and send your flight info in an email to me chip@dicomo.net....
If there is anything else we could do to help you be there for Trish, please let me know. I don't want something silly that we could solve to prevent family or friend from being there for Trish. I want to fill the church, I want the funeral home to complain that there are too many flowers. I don't want anyone who wants to say goodbye to miss the opportunity. If you let us know you are coming we will make sure you know of any family events so you are not fending for yourself between the ceremonies. Trish and I always take great pride in our ability to make our guests feel at home and comfortable -- while we may never open up that Bed and Breakfast now -- I owe it to her to be sure everyone is cared for and no one is blocked from being there to say goodbye.
A note from the road.... My brother and I are driving Trish's van home from Maryland (as I type Phil is driving). It is fully loaded with 10 months full of stuff. We stopped at Cracker Barrel for dinner/lunch just south of DC and I ordered meatloaf. It came with three side dishes. You have to have mashed potatoes with meatloaf, I like corn so that was my seocnd choice. I knew Trish would be mad at me. I've always thought of corn as a vegetable. She reminds me everytime that it is technically a starch. So to balance the dirty look I got from her, I ordered carrots as my third side dish. We will drive to Savannah, Georgia tonight. We expect to get there around midnight. We'll sleep and start out again in the morning.
If there is anything else we could do to help you be there for Trish, please let me know. I don't want something silly that we could solve to prevent family or friend from being there for Trish. I want to fill the church, I want the funeral home to complain that there are too many flowers. I don't want anyone who wants to say goodbye to miss the opportunity. If you let us know you are coming we will make sure you know of any family events so you are not fending for yourself between the ceremonies. Trish and I always take great pride in our ability to make our guests feel at home and comfortable -- while we may never open up that Bed and Breakfast now -- I owe it to her to be sure everyone is cared for and no one is blocked from being there to say goodbye.
A note from the road.... My brother and I are driving Trish's van home from Maryland (as I type Phil is driving). It is fully loaded with 10 months full of stuff. We stopped at Cracker Barrel for dinner/lunch just south of DC and I ordered meatloaf. It came with three side dishes. You have to have mashed potatoes with meatloaf, I like corn so that was my seocnd choice. I knew Trish would be mad at me. I've always thought of corn as a vegetable. She reminds me everytime that it is technically a starch. So to balance the dirty look I got from her, I ordered carrots as my third side dish. We will drive to Savannah, Georgia tonight. We expect to get there around midnight. We'll sleep and start out again in the morning.
Help making arrangements and getting around
We are negotiating a group rate at the hotel closest to Trish and Chip's, I have also put up a special google map with directions to all locations, please use this to help you get around. It can be access here:
http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&msa=0&ll=26.034179,-80.343919&spn=0.008098,0.015986&z=17&om=1&msid=114487185303620847712.00043e1b44465790091c2
The Hotel is the Hampton Inn in Pembroke Pines (click this sentence for info).
Actual times should be available tomorrow, see earlier post for expected days and locations.
http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&msa=0&ll=26.034179,-80.343919&spn=0.008098,0.015986&z=17&om=1&msid=114487185303620847712.00043e1b44465790091c2
The Hotel is the Hampton Inn in Pembroke Pines (click this sentence for info).
Actual times should be available tomorrow, see earlier post for expected days and locations.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
FYI - For planning purposes
Arrangements are not yet finalized, but here is the general plan if you wish to attend of send something.
Wake: Friday November 9, Boyd's Funeral Home; 6400 Hollywood Blvd. Hollywood, Fl 33024 ---- 1-800-662-2335.
Funeral Mass: Saturday November 10, St. Maximillian Kolbe 701 N Hiatus Road; Pembroke Pines, Fl 33026 ---- 954-432-0206
Home Address: 15061 N Longbow Bend; Davie, Fl 33331
Wake: Friday November 9, Boyd's Funeral Home; 6400 Hollywood Blvd. Hollywood, Fl 33024 ---- 1-800-662-2335.
Funeral Mass: Saturday November 10, St. Maximillian Kolbe 701 N Hiatus Road; Pembroke Pines, Fl 33026 ---- 954-432-0206
Home Address: 15061 N Longbow Bend; Davie, Fl 33331
9:41am Saturday
Trish slept through the night. The last time she was lucid was Friday morning. Her blood pressure is now 44 over 33 and the end game is clear. She will be home soon in more ways than one. Our efforts were not in vain, without the trials of the last two years, she would have had no chance. We gave her the best chance and we just aren't able to make it across the finish line we expected to cross.
There will be lots of tough times ahead for those of us who remain, but we will meet our challenges -- as best we can -- using the example she always provided. She always met all of life's obstacles head on and without fear. She always was simple and pure honest and true. She didn't make excuses, she just did her best. We can all learn much from her example. I know I have and hope that I can only be half the person she is.
(As further information is available, please check the web site for details)
Trish slept through the night. The last time she was lucid was Friday morning. Her blood pressure is now 44 over 33 and the end game is clear. She will be home soon in more ways than one. Our efforts were not in vain, without the trials of the last two years, she would have had no chance. We gave her the best chance and we just aren't able to make it across the finish line we expected to cross.
There will be lots of tough times ahead for those of us who remain, but we will meet our challenges -- as best we can -- using the example she always provided. She always met all of life's obstacles head on and without fear. She always was simple and pure honest and true. She didn't make excuses, she just did her best. We can all learn much from her example. I know I have and hope that I can only be half the person she is.
(As further information is available, please check the web site for details)
Friday, November 2, 2007
11:53pm Friday.
Trish has now had two periods of restful sleep today. But for us it really didn't appear restful. Her breathing is strained, she groans with each breath. She is sedated on the pain meds and should not be feeling any pain. I call for the nurse to give her a booster dose if I think she is in pain. Thanks to Trish's sister spending the night with her last night I slept for the first time in a week Thursday night. This is starting to become a long process and it is wearing all of us down. The boys are starting to forget the great visit they had with Trish Sunday morning and starting to remember her labored breathing of more recent days. We hope for something bright, but would settle for an end to her suffering. This knife edge is truly a tough walk for all.
Trish has now had two periods of restful sleep today. But for us it really didn't appear restful. Her breathing is strained, she groans with each breath. She is sedated on the pain meds and should not be feeling any pain. I call for the nurse to give her a booster dose if I think she is in pain. Thanks to Trish's sister spending the night with her last night I slept for the first time in a week Thursday night. This is starting to become a long process and it is wearing all of us down. The boys are starting to forget the great visit they had with Trish Sunday morning and starting to remember her labored breathing of more recent days. We hope for something bright, but would settle for an end to her suffering. This knife edge is truly a tough walk for all.
6:09p.m Friday.
Trish is still pretty anxious. Her breathing still labored and her will still strong. She hasn't really been able to talk to us since early afternoon -- mostly in an anxious sleep state. Her vitals are still pretty good, her blood pressure fluctuates from normal to low.
They have given her two doses of haldor to try and calm her, they don't really seem to be helping. Maybe earlier in the week when she was more stable than now she should have had the dialysis. No one really knows for sure. She continues to fight. We continue to comfort and support.
Trish is still pretty anxious. Her breathing still labored and her will still strong. She hasn't really been able to talk to us since early afternoon -- mostly in an anxious sleep state. Her vitals are still pretty good, her blood pressure fluctuates from normal to low.
They have given her two doses of haldor to try and calm her, they don't really seem to be helping. Maybe earlier in the week when she was more stable than now she should have had the dialysis. No one really knows for sure. She continues to fight. We continue to comfort and support.
Hello. I had typed out a nice update last night on my blackberry to send to Brian to post after responding to an email from Mike, but just as I was clicking send the blackberry disconnected and the message was lost.
Too bad, cause the update last night was more optimistic. They were considering dialysis to help clean up the toxins in her body and keep giving her the chance to surprise us all. Today they are not as optimistic about using the dialysis because her blood pressure isn't holding as well. Her breathing is more laborious.
They gave her steroids over night to help her adrenal glands, but tests show she probably didn't need them. They gave her anxiety and she was restless most of the night and morning. They discontinued them and she is seeming more calmer. She is still fighting though and the doctors are struggling to walk the line between keeping her comfortable and either staying out of her way or enhancing her chances of recovery.
Her chances for recovery are not great. Dr. Griffiths described where we are as walking along a knife edge. Any little breeze, hiccup, etc and we fall off. But she has surprised all of us a number of times, so we continue to make that walk as easy as we can for her. She may not make it to the other side, but we don't want to stop her from trying.
Too bad, cause the update last night was more optimistic. They were considering dialysis to help clean up the toxins in her body and keep giving her the chance to surprise us all. Today they are not as optimistic about using the dialysis because her blood pressure isn't holding as well. Her breathing is more laborious.
They gave her steroids over night to help her adrenal glands, but tests show she probably didn't need them. They gave her anxiety and she was restless most of the night and morning. They discontinued them and she is seeming more calmer. She is still fighting though and the doctors are struggling to walk the line between keeping her comfortable and either staying out of her way or enhancing her chances of recovery.
Her chances for recovery are not great. Dr. Griffiths described where we are as walking along a knife edge. Any little breeze, hiccup, etc and we fall off. But she has surprised all of us a number of times, so we continue to make that walk as easy as we can for her. She may not make it to the other side, but we don't want to stop her from trying.
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